Still Quiet! Dark Night
by blackindiaink
Summary: Aubrey loses Chloe and Chloe almost loses Aubrey


Light grappled with the dark, trying to wrest control from the black shades of winter night. It was snowing again and Aubrey scooted closer to the open panes of glass. The perch of a window seat was the best part of her apartment. Shadows covered her face, the lines defining them wavering back and forth when the breeze blew the curtain.

The wind changed and snow drifted in from the open window, like a small set of French doors they opened to offer her the world. She liked to feel the cold and hear the soft noise of snow falling. It was the most intense quiet she knew and it was the only thing that had the power to make her mind stop besides Chloe. The snow was here and it always came back, unlike Chloe. Consistency was something she craved and her relationship with the cold, still nights had been perfectly regular ever since she moved to Vermont.

Her choice had been easy. Come to Dartmouth for medical school and start over or stay, go to Barden, and suffer, watching Chloe and Beca flourish. She wouldn't be second choice, discarded for a girl who didn't know who she was or where she was going. The shame of being rejected and given the speech she had dreaded from the beginning still drug her down sometimes, like now.

Trees emptied of their branches rattled their skeleton limbs together when the hard gusts of air agitated them. It was probably sounded like that inside her heart. Dried up vessels and pain frozen muscle still trying to beat and finding an unsteady pace. It was enough to keep her functioning but not enough for a real life.

A light shone from beside her slipper covered feet. Her phone blinked and she absently looked at it, wondering who would bother her at two a.m. on a Sunday. The name, in white stark letters accompanied by a picture she had taken herself flashed onto the screen. Chloe, was calling her. The damaged part of her, still lacking will made her hand reach for the line of communication but she remembered the words. We were better as friends and that's what we need to be because I love Beca.

Being vulnerable was a failure. Protect all sides with walls so think no words or actions can make their way through. She was taught that inaction was an evil and if you struck first the likelihood of victory was increased. Letting Chloe take her heart, storming it like a raiding army, was a mistake. If she had fought harder maybe she would still be unwounded.

The phone buzzed again. Chloe never left a voicemail so she picked the phone up and checked it, tapping the voicemail icon. If she listened to it now she wouldn't wonder all night if she was being foolish for thinking it might be important. When she left for school Chloe was under the impression that everything was fine between them but when she didn't answer calls or texts frequently and even email inquiries fell by the wayside Chloe had insisted on an explanation.

The sad story of her shattered heart wasn't necessary so she lied. She was busy with school, they didn't have a lot of overlap in their schedules, and she felt disconnected up here all by herself. The last part was blissfully true. Chloe's voice still made the betraying emotions uncurl inside her until she wanted her again. Longed for her warmth and the presence she had become addicted to.

_You have one unheard message... First unheard message._

_Aubrey_

_ look_

_ down_

_She did as_ the message instructed. There, partially obscured by the snow covered ivy that ran the height of the building, was the person that she dreaded and loved. She leaned out into the night a little farther, not bothering to tether her body with anything but her weight to counter the gravity. She might have done it on purpose but in her haste to see Chloe she didn't think. The momentum of her angle over the sill took her out and over.

Aubrey

tumbled

down

hitting

every

tree

branch

and

eave

until

she

landed

Her eyes closed and the soft snow melted on her skin. Red flowed over it, melting a cavern in the snow by her head. One color in a sea of the absence of it. When she opened her eyes again she saw Chloe's face over hers. The eyes searching for life and a hand on her cheek. Words to reverse the ones she heard before floated down to her with the snowflakes.

"You can't leave me now. I love you," Chloe sobbed and shook her body, "It was always you." She let the tears fall onto Aubrey, not even noticing the splashes on her skin. "I was just scared and stupid."

Aubrey smiled even though her soul was vacating it's vessel. Peace infused her with each syllable of the confession, the hot tears hitting her kept her senses alert enough to hear. In her mind she reached out and warmed Chloe's cheek with a life infused hand, bringing her in for a kiss to complete the reunion. In reality, she whispered, "I love you too." Not sure if the words were strong enough to be heard.

Screams broke the silent night. First Chloe, afraid that her love was really leaving and then sirens shouting out salvation and safety. Aubrey tried to stay awake, she tried to speak but it was hard. She wanted to tell Chloe it was going to be okay. Even if she left, it wouldn't be forever. The air came slower into her lungs and was harder to push out. It was supposed to come naturally but now it was a conscious effort.

All of the things she knew from studying told her she was close to ceasing the action of life altogether but because Chloe came back she forced herself to stay in her body. It hurt but the tearing, searing, particle ripping hurt of losing Chloe. Just a slow, dull constant pain dragging her away.

A huge snowflake fell onto her eye lid and she blinked slowly, looking up into the night. She felt Chloe move her face, and she realized that she was still speaking

"Aubrey look at me"

She focused ever so slightly so Chloe would stay but a voice in her head made her look back up to the fragile shapes that were falling from the sky. The voice, unlike anything she had ever heard rang in her mind, bouncing off the matter and into all the empty spaces between cells, echoing the words in backwards order that she could never forget.

** Her**

** With**

** Stay**

** To **

** Need**

** You**

So, she did.

This time love was enough to keep her heart open and Chloe always stayed, always came back.


End file.
